I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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