Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Im part way to drunk.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
