We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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