I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
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Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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