i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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