Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My vagina just recognized that song.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
