just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
