i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
