she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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