Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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