After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
