I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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