ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
