It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
