So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
