Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
