one might say we're banned from that church
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
