A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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