i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
