Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Randomize
