I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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