Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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