I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
