well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
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