You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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