i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
