I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
