Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He felt like a one man threesome
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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