if i can run in heels then i can drive
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
