it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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