If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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