I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
