There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
