So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
