tell your sister to shave her snatch
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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