I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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