I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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