I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
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