why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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