time to smoke my breakfast
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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