But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
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