So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
