We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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