so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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