I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
