There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
