he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
