brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
