I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
