I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
there is glitter all over my balls
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