I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
