The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
