what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
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