I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
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Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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