so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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