You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
