the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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