will power is for people who don't want to get laid
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
