I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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