I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
