i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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