ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
