how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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