she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
